Responsible Parents
1 Samuel 2: 12 – 36 and 1 Samuel 8:
1 – 3.
I.
Introduction.
One
of the good things about Facebook is the way it allows us to stay connected
with people we haven’t seen in years.
But, there is at least one down side to Facebook.
Some
people look at the pictures of happy smiling friends and family members and try
to compare their lives to theirs.
Everyone looks so happy in the pictures from Acapulco ,
but my family isn’t that happy…And I can’t afford to travel to Acapulco .
They must have a better life than mine.
But,
what you don’t see on Facebook is that they had to threaten and bribe their
children to smile in the pictures. They
have conflict in their relationships just like you do. Their lives are just as messed up as your
life. They just don’t post the negative
things on Facebook.
The
fact is, everyone is hiding something.
Even the people who appear so happy on Facebook are hiding the fact that
their teenagers are rebelling or their marriages are not perfect.
One
of the interesting and good things about the Bible is that it doesn’t have
anything to hide. The Bible tells us the
good and the bad things going on in the lives of God’s people. If the Bible were like Facebook, it would
only tell the good and happy parts of the story.
In
our Scriptures today, we will read the good and the bad about two of Israel ’s
spiritual leaders: Eli and Samuel. God
used both Eli and Samuel to lead the nation of Israel . But, both of these spiritual leaders had
rebellious sons.
1 Samuel 2: 12 – 26.
12 Eli's sons were wicked men; they had no regard for the LORD.
13 Now it was the practice of the priests with the people that whenever anyone offered a sacrifice and while the meat was being boiled, the servant of the priest would come with a three-pronged fork in his hand.
14 He would plunge it into the pan or kettle or caldron or pot, and the priest would take for himself whatever the fork brought up. This is how they treated all the Israelites who came to Shiloh.
15 But even before the fat was burned, the servant of the priest would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, "Give the priest some meat to roast; he won't accept boiled meat from you, but only raw."
16 If the man said to him, "Let the fat be burned up first, and then take whatever you want," the servant would then answer, "No, hand it over now; if you don't, I'll take it by force."
17 This sin of the young men was very great in the LORD's sight, for they were treating the LORD's offering with contempt.
18 But Samuel was ministering before the LORD-- a boy wearing a linen ephod.
19 Each year his mother made him a little robe and took it to him when she went up with her husband to offer the annual sacrifice.
20 Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, saying, "May the LORD give you children by this woman to take the place of the one she prayed for and gave to the LORD." Then they would go home.
21 And the LORD was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD.
22 Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting.
23 So he said to them, "Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours.
24 No, my sons; it is not a good report that I hear spreading among the LORD's people.
25 If a man sins against another man, God may mediate for him; but if a man sins against the LORD, who will intercede for him?" His sons, however, did not listen to their father's rebuke, for it was the LORD's will to put them to death.
26 And the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favor with the LORD and with men.
(NIV)
Eli and His Sons
One
of the first things we notice as we read this Scripture is the way it moves
back and forth between two stories. On
one hand, it tells us the sad, sad story of Eli and his two evil sons. On the other hand, it tells us the sweet,
sweet story of Samuel as a young boy obediently serving in the presence of the
Lord. We might say that this Scripture
tells us about the rise of Samuel from a young boy to become a well-respected
religious leader…and the Fall of Eli from well-respected priest to
insignificant old man.
The
Scripture is very specific that Eli fell from his well-respected position
because of the sinfulness of his own sons.
An unnamed prophet confronted Eli and made it very clear that God was
holding Eli responsible for the sins of his two sons.
What
could be so bad that God would hold a parent accountable for the sins of their
children?
Professional
Misconduct
Hophni
and Phinehas were taking the priestly share of the fellowship offerings “before
the fat was burned”—that is, before the
LORD had been given his portion…By demanding that they get their share
before Yahweh’s portion itself was offered up, they despised the offering of
Yahweh.
The
priests were consuming fat from the sacrificial animals, an act specifically
prohibited in the Torah… Don’t try to read this through modern-day,
scientific, heart-healthy eyes. This is
not God’s way of protecting us from eating too much of something that can clog
our arteries. No. The fatty parts of the meat are the most
expensive and best tasting cuts of meat.
And these good, expensive cuts of meat were to be dedicated to the LORD.
The
blood was poured out and the fat was burned as a sacrifice to the LORD. Then the priest was to take his portion of
the meat. The remainder of the sacrifice was then cooked
and eaten by the family who offered the sacrifice.
There
are three places in Scripture where the priest’s portion is described—it is
different in every place. Leviticus
7—Breast and the Right Thigh.
Deuteronomy 18—Shoulder, the Two Cheeks (Jowls) and the Stomach. 1 Samuel 2—Priests at Shiloh had developed
their own method of arbitrarily sticking a large fork into the boiling pot and
keeping whatever came out on the fork.
This
egalitarian system was not good enough for Hophni and Phinehas…They chose the
best portions for themselves rather than relying on potluck and included the
fatty portions on their selection.
Normally, no one would eat the fat since it was to be burned for Yahweh. Normally, the priest only took his share of
the meat. But Hophni and Phinehas took
everything! They sinned against the
people by stealing their share and sinned against God by taking what had been
reserved for God.
Personal
Sin
They
did not know the LORD…NIV translates “They had no regard for the
LORD”…This phrase could be translated either way…Either they gave no thought to
the things and ways of the Lord, only thinking of themselves…OR…They never
actually knew the LORD in a personal relationship—religion without
relationship; ritual without faith…
To
Know is a Hebrew word that indicates personal intimacy…Hophni and Phinehas had
a head knowledge of God but they had no heart-felt relationship with God…
I
prefer to interpret this as indicating that Eli’s sons did not know or obey
Yahweh…We can see this evidenced in the fruit of their lives. If they had known God, then they would have
desired to serve and please him.
Can
you imagine two boys who had been reared in the church becoming adults who had
no Love for God. Familiarity has a
tendency to breed contempt. Thus it is
easy to learn the words and rituals of religion without coming to love and
understand God.
The most important thing a parent
could ever do is to pass along our faith to our children. This is where Eli failed. He passed his religion to his Sons. But he never passed his faith.
1 Samuel 27 – 36.
27 Now a man of God came to Eli and said to him, "This is what the LORD says: 'Did I not clearly reveal myself to your father's house when they were in Egypt under Pharaoh?
28 I chose your father out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to go up to my altar, to burn incense, and to wear an ephod in my presence. I also gave your father's house all the offerings made with fire by the Israelites.
29 Why do you scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?'
30 "Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that your house and your father's house would minister before me forever.' But now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.
31 The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of your father's house, so that there will not be an old man in your family line
32 and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, in your family line there will never be an old man.
33 Every one of you that I do not cut off from my altar will be spared only to blind your eyes with tears and to grieve your heart, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life.
34 "'And what happens to your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, will be a sign to you-- they will both die on the same day.
35 I will raise up for myself a faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind. I will firmly establish his house, and he will minister before my anointed one always.
36 Then everyone left in your family line will come and bow down before him for a piece of silver and a crust of bread and plead, "Appoint me to some priestly office so I can have food to eat."'"
(NIV)
Then,
we learn through the words of an unnamed prophet that Eli’s house had, by its
own actions, proved itself unworthy of continuing in its priestly office.
In
the prophet’s speech, the use of the plural pronoun “you” (ya’ll) indicates
that Eli was implicated in some sense in the sins of Hophni and Phinehas. Eli faced the same judgment his sons faced.
The
Scripture describes one moment when Eli condemned their sins, but it was too
little, too late. There may have been a
time when Eli’s words might have changed things, but that time is long
past. Eli was too old. Hophni and Phinehas were too old. Eli waited until he was “very old.” It is too late to try to train a child if you
wait until he begins to stray—must begin at birth, or sooner.
On
one hand, it seems that Eli was punished for the sins committed by his sons. But that is not a view supported by the rest
of Scripture. The Bible teaches that
every man and woman must give an account for his or her own sins. Therefore, Eli did not bear responsibility
for the sins of his sons! He was judged
for his own sin—honoring his sons more than the LORD (v. 29).
By
permitting his sons to appropriate the best of every kind of sacrifice, Eli
honored them more than the LORD.
Samuel and His Sons
As
we compare and contrast the rise of Samuel and the decline of Eli, we recognize
that Samuel is God’s chosen. God has a
special plan and ministry set aside for Samuel.
Surely this righteous, obedient, God-called man does not have the same
kinds of trouble with his family that rebellious and disobedient Eli had? Yet, in 1 Samuel 8, we read about the same
kinds of problems…
1 Samuel 8: 1 – 3
1 When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as judges for Israel.
2 The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba.
3 But his sons did not walk in his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.
(NIV)
These
verses show us that Eli and Samuel had something in common that we often
overlook. They were both spiritual
leaders who were used by God to help the nation of Israel through a difficult time…But
their children did not turn out very well.
Just as Eli’s sons Hophni and Phinehas became priests just like their
father, so Samuel’s sons Joel and Abijah became judges just like their father. And just like Hophni and Phinehas, Joel and
Abijah were wicked judges who did not remind the people of their righteous
father.
But
there is one thing that Eli and Samuel do not have in common. Eli faced God’s judgment for the sins of his
family. Yet, when we read the rest of 1
Samuel and the rest of the Bible, we discover that there was never a negative
word written about Samuel…And Samuel was never held accountable for the sins of
his family.
So,
what is the difference? How can God
judge Eli, but let Samuel off the hook? I
think the key to understanding this mystery is found in two little words in 1
Samuel 8: 3…The Bible says that Samuel’s sons TURNED ASIDE and did not
walk in their father’s ways.
In
order to say that Joel and Abijah Turned Aside, we must agree that there
was a time when they were headed in the right direction. There was a time when they were walking in
their father’s ways, when they were following in Samuel’s footsteps and obeying
the Word of the Lord. Then, when they
were old enough to decide for themselves, they freely chose to Turn Aside
from what was right and to go in a wrong direction.
Samuel
was in a very familiar position as a parent.
He had done everything he could possibly do to rear his children in
godly ways. And while they were under
his roof, they were in church every time the doors were open. They were in VBS, sang in the children’s
choir, went on all the youth trips…They were even officers in the FCA at Ramah
Christian school.
But
when Samuel appointed Joel and Abijah as judges over Israel , it was a different story. That is when things began to change. The power that came with being a judge
brought pressure and temptations. Joel
and Abijah gave in to temptation and began to sell their decisions to the
highest bidder. Of course, Samuel had
the same opportunities and temptations that they had, but Samuel had resisted
them. As the Bible says, Joel and Abijah
Turned Aside and did not walk in their father’s ways.
This
passage is very frightening to pastors and church leaders who worry about how
their children will turn out. It just
goes to show that we can do everything possible to rear godly children, but
when they are out of our care, they make their own choices.
II.
Conclusion:
Are Parents Responsible When Children Stray?
Are
Parents Responsible When Children Stray?
We
have two biblical examples of parents whose children went astray. In one case, God held the parent accountable
for the sins of the children. In the
other case, God only held the sinner accountable. What is the difference?
Samuel
was a parent who did everything he could possibly do to rear godly
children. As long as Joel and Abijah
were under his roof, they walked in their father’s ways. When they moved off on their own, they Turned
Aside. Some of you here today need
that word of encouragement. You have
adult children who are not living like you trained them to live. If so, I want you to know that you cannot
make choices for your children and you are not alone.
Eli
was a parent who knew about the sins his children were committing and did nothing. Eli let his children get away with sin. He never stood up to their behavior. And no matter what Hophni and Phinehas did,
Eli took their side, defending them even defending them against God himself. Therefore, God punished Eli.
Some
of you here today need that word of warning and call for a change. If your children are actively involved in a
lifestyle of sin while under your roof, and you do nothing…Then Eli is your
example. God will hold you accountable
for their sinful choices.