Sunday, March 22, 2009: Forgiveness

Forgiveness
Genesis 33: 1 – 11.

I. Introduction.
One of the most frequently asked questions—at least most frequently asked of me—is “How can we know if a child is old enough to understand salvation?” The best answer I have ever found for this came from The Baptist Standard’s interview with a Christian counselor (probably about 10 – 12 years ago, before I thought it was important to cite my sources). This woman said that children are old enough to understand salvation when they are old enough to understand “sin” and “forgiveness.”

This is the answer I give to parents when they ask about their children. And, this is the approach I take when talking to someone—of any age—about becoming a Christian. I always start with a discussion of sin. You see, if we do not think we have ever sinned then we don’t think we need to be forgiven. And forgiveness is the first, important aspect of salvation.

“All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3: 23).” “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this, while we were still SINNERS Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). These two verses teach us about the very basic meaning of salvation: Because we have sinned, Jesus died on the cross to offer us forgiveness.

But there is an interesting thing about forgiveness… I don’t want you to think that forgiveness comes with a price tag. No, God offers us forgiveness at no cost; it is a free gift, a grace. However, Jesus teaches us that men and women who have been forgiven notice something new and different about our personal relationships.

Because we have been forgiven by God, we ought to forgive others. Jesus teaches us that Christians are supposed to be the most forgiving people in the world. In fact, Jesus taught his disciples how to pray in Matthew 6 and Luke 11. In BOTH places Jesus said we should pray, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”

As we prepare our hearts and lives for Easter 2009, we should reflect on the forgiveness God offers us through the death of Jesus on the cross. AND, we should strive to become better at forgiving others.

There are several biblical stories about forgiveness. I am going to read one story about forgiveness…and it might surprise you to think of this as a story of forgiveness…

Read Genesis 33: 1 – 11.

The story of Jacob and Esau begins in Genesis 25 with the story of their birth. They were twins who wrestled in their mother’s womb. Esau was born first and got his name from his hairy appearance—Esau means “hairy.” Jacob was born very quickly after Esau, because he was holding onto his brother’s heel. Thus he was named Jacob, which means “he grasps the heel,” or “he deceives.”

We know very little about Esau. We know that he was the oldest son in his family. We know that he should have been the family leader after his father’s death, but he sold that birthright to his brother Jacob. We know that he should have gone off into the world with the family blessing, but that was stolen by the same crafty brother, Jacob. Then we know that Esau took a vow to kill Jacob as soon as their father, Isaac, died.

We don’t know anything else about Esau for the next twenty years. But when we finally do see Esau again…He is different…Esau is a changed man.

During those twenty years when Esau was silent. The Bible tells us a lot about Jacob. Jacob had three encounters with God that changed his life. God made a promise to Jacob. God promised to bring Jacob back to the Promised Land…The land of his ancestors and make him into a great and powerful nation.

But before Jacob could return to his ancestral land he had to do something dangerous. He had to travel through Edom—the land belonging to his angry brother Esau. It is probably obvious to you that this poses somewhat of a problem. If Esau wanted to kill Jacob, what do you think is going to happen as Jacob crosses into Esau’s territory?

We don’t know what might have led to this decision, but Jacob decided that it was time to make peace with his brother. So Jacob sent one of his slaves to go and find Esau and tell him that his brother was in the region and wanted to speak to him. The slave came running back to Jacob and said, “Esau is coming…And he is bringing 400 men.”

Now there are two ways we can interpret Esau’s actions. On one hand, he is bringing 400 men to impress Jacob and show him that Esau has become a very important man in Edom. On the other hand, we know by reading the rest of the Bible that 400 men is the standard number for a military regiment or a raiding party. That is the same number of men that was used throughout 1 and 2 Samuel.

Jacob was left with no other option…He had to take desperate measures. Specifically, Jacob did three desperate things…

1. He Prayed…He stayed awake all night praying and “wrestling” with God.

2. He divided his family into several camps and arranged them in order of importance—The maidservants and their children went first, then Leah and her children, then Rachel and Joseph his favorites were last in line so they could be the first to escape and the most likely to get out alive…

3. He sent herds and flocks of animals ahead as gifts…These gifts were divided into five units that were led by a different slave…Each slave was instructed to say the same thing to Esau… “Jacob is sending this to my lord Esau, that I may find favor in your eyes”…Perhaps Esau’s heart would be softened after hearing the same message five different times…

There are a couple of interesting things to notice at this point…First, if you go back and count the number of animals that Jacob sent Esau, it is an astonishing 550 animals…Perhaps Jacob was trying to earn forgiveness from his brothers…Some people wonder if Jacob is trying to restore the family blessing to Esau—If so, it is interesting that Esau did not accept Jacob’s gifts until Jacob pleaded with him to take the flocks…Secondly, the Bible uses a religious word to describe this gift…It is a “present” which was a form of sacrificial offering that was intended to appease the anger of God…This leads us to believe that Jacob was trying to atone for his past sins and restore his relationship with his brother…

Then Esau surprises everybody…Instead of coming to attack Jacob and take revenge for the ways he had deceived him in the past, Esau FORGAVE his brother…

This is really hard for some of us to believe, because Jacob had taken everything from Esau…Of course we realize that is exactly what Jesus told us to do…He told us to pray for our enemies and to forgive the men and women who absolutely hate us and desire nothing but evil for us…He also taught us to pray, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”…That is the part I don’t like…I don’t want God to forgive me like I forgive others, I want God to forgive me better than I forgive others…

II. Be Specific When You Forgive.

Forgiveness cannot be general…It must focus on a specific person and a specific sin…There must be a face…

We cannot say, “I forgive everyone who has hurt me.” We have to name the specific person and the specific sin.

But, forgiveness is NOT something that happens immediately. Usually, forgiveness is a process that begins with prayer.

If there is someone whom you need to forgive, begin by praying for that person. Pray for them specifically…Pray for them by name. Pray that God will help you to forgive the sin they committed against you. Pray specifically. But pray in private. The offertory pray in Sunday morning worship is not the time to pray for someone by name.

III. Remember Your Own Forgiveness.

It is easier to forgive others when you recognize the many ways you have been forgiven by God and by others…

Perhaps this is what Jesus had in mind in the Model Prayer…Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us…


IV. Sacrifice Your Rights.

This is perhaps the most difficult part of forgiveness…Everyone would understand if you make the offending person suffer for the ways they sinned against you…After all you were right…You ought to show the world that you were right…

Ultimately this is what forgiveness is all about…Forgiveness is when you refuse to make someone suffer for their sins against you…

Christian spiritualist Thomas Merton says that this is the difference between God’s theology and the devil’s theology…The devil likes to exaggerate the differences between right and wrong…The most important thing is to be absolutely right all the time and to prove everybody else absolutely wrong…If you are right, you should punish and eliminate those who are wrong…

But God’s theology includes Forgiveness…It is to act toward others on the basis of mercy…Not giving others the pain or the punishment they deserve…In other words, the offended person can GIVE forgiveness, but the guilty person can never EARN (or DESERVE) forgiveness…Even Jacob could not buy his forgiveness with lavish gifts to Esau…


V. Re-Establish the Relationship.

This is the ideal…It happened in the Jacob and Esau story…It happened in the death of Jesus on the cross…However, it does not and cannot always happen…

There are times when we need to forgive someone without ever restoring the relationship…Forgiving a dead parent or sibling…Forgiving an abuser…Forgiving an unfaithful spouse who has left…Forgiving an unrepentant person…

If what I said earlier is true—No one can earn or deserve forgiveness—then it is also true that the guilty person does not need to repent and apologize in order for us to forgive…Yet repentance and apology IS necessary for reconciliation and restored relationship to occur…
Forgiveness is the responsibility of the innocent person. Reconciliation is the responsibility of the guilty person. Jesus requires us to forgive. Jesus does not require us to reconcile a broken relationship.


VI. Conclusion: Forgiveness = The Face of God.

Read Genesis 33:10… “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.”

We didn’t read Genesis 32 this morning. But, do you remember what happened in Genesis 32? Jacob stayed awake all night long wrestling with a man…That man turned out to be God…And Jacob renamed that place Peniel—The Face of God—because he saw God face to face and lived…(Genesis 32: 30)

One night, Jacob stayed awake all night looking into the face of God…The next day, he saw his estranged brother extend his hand in forgiveness and said, “To see you is to see the face of God, now that you have received me favorably.”

That is a tall compliment coming from a man who had actually seen God.

So how can we show the Face of God to others?

The Face of God = Forgiveness of those who have committed the greatest sins against us…And hopefully to bring them back into a restored relationship…

I am sure that each of us can think of at least one person whom we need to forgive this morning…That is human nature…We may forget our anniversary date, but we cannot seem to forget times we have been hurt by someone in the distant past…We may forget all the kind and gentle things our friends have done for us, but we cannot seem to forget the ways these same people have betrayed us…We may forget the many times our brother or sister helped us with our homework, but we cannot seem to forget the day he / she ridiculed us in front of friends…