Sunday, June 21, 2009 (Fathers' Day): A Theology of Family

A Theology of Family
Genesis 2: 15 – 25; Mark 10: 1 – 9; Matthew 16: 13 – 20;
Acts 9: 1 – 6; Ephesians 5: 25 – 33.

I. Introduction.
In anticipation of Fathers’ Day, the Harris Poll conducted an online survey last month. The poll consisted of one question with no multiple choice answers supplied. Very simply, the poll asked, “Thinking of television fathers, who would you most like to have had as a dad when you were growing up?”

Here are the top ten results of the survey: 10. Tim Taylor, Home Improvement; 9. Ben Cartwright, Bonanza; 8. Charles Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie; 7. Howard Cunningham, Happy Days; 6. Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch; 5. Ozzie Nelson, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet; 4. Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show; 3. Jim Anderson, Father Knows Best; 2. Ward Cleaver, Leave It to Beaver; 1. Cliff Huxtable; The Cosby Show.[1]

While I am not here today to interpret statistics gathered by the Harris Poll, I do find this list of fathers interesting. It’s interesting that none of these “Top Ten TV Fathers” are on prime time TV in 2009.

Does this mean that TV is so filled with reality shows and crime dramas that there are no fatherly role models on TV in 2009? Or does it simply mean that there are no fatherly role models on TV in 2009?

Every year on Fathers’ Day, I remember a conversation I once had with a retired football coach from Baylor. He said, “You know something that’s not fair? It’s not fair that every Mothers’ Day we come to church an hear an uplifting sermon about Godly mothers and how none of us would ever become Christians without the influence of our Godly mothers. Then, we come to church on Fathers’ Day and hear a sermon about how the entire American culture is going to hell, because there are no Godly fathers anymore.” I made a promise to myself that I would not be that kind of preacher.

So, I am not here today to discriminate against fathers. I am not going to recite the statistics about American culture and try to blame all our cultural problems on fathers. Instead, I want to be positive. I want to show you what I believe the Bible has to say about families. If any of our fathers feel guilty today, please don’t blame me. I am not trying to make you feel guilty. Don’t blame me. But, listen for the Holy Spirit to bring conviction to the way your family functions.

The Bible is filled with stories about real people and real families. It would be very difficult for me to find a perfect family—or even a perfect father—in the pages of Scripture. Of course, the only perfect father in Scripture is our Heavenly Father, the Father of Jesus Christ. He is our model. Yet, all the earthly fathers in Scripture fall short of God’s perfection.

I believe there is some comfort in this as we read the Bible. We can read the Bible and encounter men just like you and me. We can read about their mistakes and find ourselves mirrored in what they have done. We can even learn from their mistakes by reading about the logical conclusions to their mistakes and stop before our families end up like theirs. But, the greatest lesson we can learn is that God continues to use imperfect people and imperfect fathers.
The first family in the Bible was Adam and Eve and their children…

II. Genesis 2: 15 – 25.

This is my favorite Scripture to read when I perform wedding ceremonies. I like it, because it places marriage in the context of God’s activity in creation. In other words, I believe that God created the physical universe, everything that lives in the physical universe, AND God created marriage.

We can find several significant points about marriage in the story of Adam and Eve. God looked at all of the created beings on the earth to find a mate for Adam, but there was none that “fit.” The only mate which “fit” with Adam was the one God created in a special act of creation—woman. Only woman “fits” with man, and only man “fits” with woman.

I use the word “fit” to describe the relationship between Adam and Eve. The Bible uses the word “suitable,” but it means the same thing. We could even say something like, “corresponding otherness.” Adam and Eve were not created to be the same. They were created to “fit” together. Male and female “fit” together spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and physically. This relationship between one man and one woman is the only relationship that “fits” the Bible’s description of marriage.

It is also significant that God is the one who brought Adam and Eve together in marriage. Jesus helps us to interpret this in one of his conflicts with the Pharisees…

III. Mark 10: 1 – 9.

Notice that the Pharisees instigated this conflict with Jesus by asking him about divorce. That is significant, because Mark has already told us in chapter 6 how this was the very issue that caused John the Baptist to be executed by the king. John spoke out against the king’s divorce and remarriage. The king placed John in prison and had him killed. Now, Jesus is in danger of facing the same thing.

However, Jesus didn’t talk about divorce here. Jesus chose to speak about marriage. Specifically, Jesus told the Pharisees that marriage originated in the story of creation. Then, Jesus taught that it is God himself who puts a husband and wife together. “What God has joined together, let human beings not separate.”

Jesus’ interpretation of the story of creation tells me that marriage was created by God. God created marriage to be a relationship between a man and a woman. God created marriage to be an eternal bond between husband and wife.

But, marriage is not the only “institution” created by God…

IV. Matthew 16: 13 – 20.

The verse I want to emphasize today is verse 18, “(Jesus said) And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”
Jesus’ words to Peter can be interpreted in two different ways. There are some who believe that Jesus intended to build the church on Peter, as the church’s first Pope. Others believe Jesus intended to build the church on Peter’s confession of faith—that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. I believe it was the latter, since Peter never served as a Pope or Bishop in the early church. James came a lot closer than Peter, serving as the early church spokesman in the book of Acts.

Notice the way Jesus used the words “I” and “my.” Jesus said the church is his church. It doesn’t belong to the Baptist convention, the pastor or even the deacons. The church belongs to Jesus. Also, Jesus said he will be the one responsible for the growth of the church. Again, the Baptist convention, the pastor and the deacons cannot build or grow the church. Only Jesus can grow his church.

The connection between Jesus and the church is even more apparent in the story of Saul’s conversion in Acts…

V. Acts 9: 1 – 6.

At this point in Saul’s life, he was a good Jew but not a Christian. Saul knew everything a man could possibly know about the history of Israel, the Jewish religious traditions and the Old Testament Scriptures. But, Saul did not know the teachings of Jesus. You and I just read Jesus’ words claiming ownership of the church. So, we should not be surprised at what happens in the story.

Acts 9: 1 tells us that Saul was “breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples.” It does not say the church, but we know from reading the first eight chapters of Acts that the disciples had formed themselves into a church when the Holy Spirit was poured out on them.
When Saul was on the road to Damascus to attack the church, he was stopped in his tracks by a blinding light and a voice. Notice what the voice said to Saul in verse 4, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” Saul didn’t recognize the voice, so he asked the speaker to identify himself. The answer is in verse 5: “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.”

I imagine that at this point, Saul was just a little confused. The book of Acts does not tell us this, but I think Saul must have at least thought, “I am not persecuting you. I am persecuting the church.”

Again, you and I are familiar with the teachings of Jesus; and we just read that Jesus claims ownership of the church and takes the responsibility of growing the church. So, we are not surprised that persecuting the church is the same thing as persecuting Jesus. In other words, “If you mess with the church, you are messing with Jesus.”

After this encounter with Jesus, Saul’s name was changed to Paul. Paul became the greatest missionary of the early church and the greatest theologian, who described what Jesus’ church is supposed to look like. One of Paul’s teachings on the church is in Ephesians 5…

VI. Ephesians 5: 25 – 33.

Notice that Paul quotes from Genesis 2: 24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Jesus quoted this same verse to describe the permanence of marriage in Mark 10. Now, Paul quotes this same verse to describe the church! There is a connection between church and marriage! Marriage is a picture of the church. And the church is a picture of a marriage.

Since God created BOTH marriage and the church, I believe we should understand each in the context of the other.

VII. Conclusion.

The story of Saul’s conversion teaches us that “messing with the church is the same as messing with Jesus.” I think we can say the same thing about marriage.

Just as God does not attack churches, so God does not attack marriages. Satan is the one who attacks churches and marriages. On Fathers’ Day, I think we can expand marriage to include the relationship between parents and children. God does not attack your family; but Satan is intent on destroying your church, your marriage AND the relationship between parents and children.

I also believe we can find a connection between the purpose of the church and the purpose of the family. I believe the “five purposes” for the church are easily transferred to become purposes for the family.

1. Evangelism…One of our primary purposes as a church is to share the Good News with the world around us. As fathers, we have the same responsibility to lead our children to faith in Jesus. We do this by demonstrating our own faith and by sharing with our children what Jesus means to us. Fathers have a God-given responsibility to place their children in places and situations where they will learn about Jesus. The church is one place where children will hear about Jesus. You need to bring your children to church, but that is not enough. You need to teach Jesus in your home.

2. Discipleship…Discipleship is what takes place in a Christian’s life after he or she becomes a Christian. The best analogy I know is to compare discipleship with growth. God does not take us out of the world as soon as we profess Christ as Lord. He leaves us here to grow in our understanding and in our relationship with Christ.

This is why it is important for parents to read the Bible and to pray with their children. Model for your children the kind of Christian growth you want them to have in their own lives. In 1971, when my parents were expecting me, they attended a worship service at First Baptist Church, Starkville, Mississippi. In that service, there were two men teaching about the importance of reading the Bible with your children. My parents “walked down the aisle” of that church and made a commitment to read the Bible with me when I was born. (One of those two men was Jerry Merriman, who grew up in Lufkin and joined our church two years ago.)

3. Worship…It’s important for parents to worship with their children. Notice that I didn’t say parents should worship their children. Worship God alongside your children. Yes, this is supposed to happen at church on Sundays. And, yes, it should happen at home as well.

4. Mission / Ministry…Mission and ministry are two words we use to describe serving other people in the name of Christ. Jesus left us with a job to do on earth until he returns. Our job on earth is the same job Jesus modeled for us in his life—preaching the Gospel to the lost, casting out demons and healing the sick. What are you doing with your family to serve others in the name of Christ?

5. Community…Some people use the word “fellowship” here. Fellowship is a good word, but community is my preference. Our community within the church is more than an accident of our birth or the jobs that brought us to Lufkin. Our community is based on our personal relationship with Jesus and our commitment to serve him in Lufkin. Our community is a reflection of Christ.

The world sees Jesus when they witness our love for one another. The same is true for your family. The world should see Jesus when it sees your love. Does your family demonstrate Jesus through your love?


[1] http://www.harrisinteractive.com/harris_poll/pubs/Harris_Poll_2009_06_16.pdf; and http://www.marketingcharts.com/television/top-15-tv-dads-reflect-days-gone-by-9497/harris-interactive-top-15-tv-dads-june-2009jpg/