Fathers' Day

Andrew G. Pittman
Sunday Morning (Fathers’ Day)
June 17, 2007
Choices for Every Parent
Psalm 127: 1 – 5.
I. Introduction
When I was living in Waco, I had three very close friends in our church. The church had two Sunday School hours—one at 8:30 and one at 11:00. My responsibilities were at 9:30 and 11:00, so I joined an 8:30 Sunday School class with my friends. These friends were all in their 70’s, so I was a member of the Sunday School class for 70 – 80 year old men!
When we left Waco to move to Mississippi in 1999, I was moving to my first church as pastor. These men in their 70’s had been in church for their entire lives, and as a result, they were full of advice. I specifically remember two things they advised me to do as a pastor. First, they told me that I needed to preach on Hell, because there was not enough preaching on Hell in today’s world. Second, they gave me some advice on Fathers’ Day. One of the men, a retired football coach who had coached at Baylor with Grant Teaff, said, “Do you know what is not fair? Every year on Mothers’ Day, we come to church and hear a sermon about how wonderful our mothers are…We owe our lives to our godly mothers who cared for us and invested their faith into our lives. And then we come to church on Fathers’ Day and hear a sermon about how the whole world is falling apart, because fathers have not done a good job of training our kids. It’s just not fair.”
Let me add another thing that is not fair about Fathers’ Day. We take Sunday nights off on Mothers’ Day and encourage our church family to spend time with your mothers. But on Fathers’ Day we have Sunday night church just like on every week.
In honor of our fathers today, let me begin by reading a description of fatherhood written by one of America’s favorite fathers, Bill Cosby. This description comes from Bill Cosby’s 1987 number one bestselling book Fatherhood:

Now that my father is a grandfather, he just can’t wait to give money to my kids. But when I was a kid and I asked him for fifty cents, he would tell me the story of his life. How he got up at 5 a.m. when he was seven years old and walked twenty three miles to milk ninety cows. And the farmer he worked for had no buckets, so he had to squirt the milk into his little hand and then walk eight miles to the nearest milk can. All this for 5 cents a month…And I never got my fifty cents. But now he tells my children every time he comes into the house, “Well, let’s see how much money Granddad has for his wonderful kids.” And the minute they take the money out of his hands, I call them over to me and snatch it away from them. Because that is MY money.

Cosby also describes the difference between Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day:

Mothers’ Day is a bigger deal than Fathers’ Day, because mothers are more organized. Mothers say to their children, “Now, here is a list of what I want. Go get the money from your father.” For Fathers’ Day, I give each of my 5 kids $20 (a total of $100) so they can go buy me a present. They go to the store and buy 2 packages of underwear for $5 a package. They open the packages of underwear and each kid wraps up one pair, giving any extra to the Salvation Army. Therefore, on Fathers’ Day, I am walking around with five new pairs of underwear and my kids are walking around with $90 worth of my change in their pockets.

Read Psalm 127: 1 – 5.

The theme of this Psalm is the Presence of God. In fact, the Psalmist hopes to communicate through this short Psalm the fact that there is no success in life apart from the presence and activity of God in a person’s life.
Then the Psalmist gives us four illustrations about success in the presence of God and failure apart from God. Three of these illustrations are directly related to Fathers’ Day, since they deal with common activities of an ancient household. I believe each of these illustrations applies to every parent—both mothers and fathers—and every individual who is not a parent. However I think we will see some specific applications for fathers.
Perhaps the best way for us to understand and interpret this Psalm would be to think of it as a comparison and contrast. On one hand, there are certain things that a person does in order to survive and just make it through life. On the other hand, there are certain things a person must do in order to live a life with purpose. The choice comes down to two options. Do you want to make it through life? Or do you want to live a life of purpose? Will you be happy just SURVIVING life when you have an opportunity to THRIVE in the presence of God?

II. Build a House or Build a Home? (v. 1)
There are two ways to approach any project: (1) Do it yourself…(2) Call a professional. If you choose to do it yourself by depending on your own strength, intelligence, wisdom and power, everything will be in vain.
Verse one gives us two illustrations about working on our own strength. The first example is about building a home. The second example falls outside our theme of parenting and fathers, but it does make an interesting point about protecting a city. Human watchmen who stand guard around the walls of ancient cities are imperfect. Even if the human watchmen stay awake all night, they cannot prevent the enemy from attacking. All they can do is sound the alarm.
The first illustration fits our Fathers’ Day theme very well. The Hebrew word translated “house” can be used either as a reference to a literal, physical house. Or it can be used symbolically to describe a household…Or as I prefer to think about it…A Home.
What is the difference between a house and a home? A house is physical and is built with wood and bricks and mortar. A house is something that can be successfully built entirely on human effort. We could even make a similar point about a household. A person gets married, possibly has children, establishes discipline and develops a financial plan…A household.
However, a home is something entirely different. A home cannot be built by human effort. It can only be built by the LORD. Building a home is spiritual work. And we agree with the Psalmist, “Unless the LORD builds the home, its builders labor in vain.
What does a godly home look like in the Twenty-First Century?

A. Jesus Is Lord of the Home.
Lordship always means “ownership.” When individuals accept Jesus as Lord, they actually make him their owner, ruler, master and boss. Therefore, a Christian home is always made up of individuals under the Lordship of Jesus. Jesus owns and operates the Christian home. When our homes are under the Lordship of Jesus, we claim no rights of ownership.

B. Individual Lives Are Changed by the Grace of God.
This applies to every member of the home from the least to the eldest. But let’s focus on our fathers for a minute. There are two faulty images for fathers in the Twenty-First Century:
1. Image of Father most adult grew up with…
The Patriarch and the Breadwinner, who had little or no responsibilities within the home. It was the father’s job to work outside the home to earn a living and then to have his needs and desires met by both wife and children.

2. Image of father created by society…
The Absentee father, who is soft on discipline and ruled by the wishes of his spoiled children.
I found an interesting quote about this kind of father in a book by Bill Hybels, Honest to God?...Bill Hybels was writing about what it means to be a godly man and quoted from a liberal feminist, Deborah Laake…
Ten years ago we (women) were complaining that men feel this need to perform their macho role and think they’ve got to be strong and they cannot cry. And now we have released them from that. We wanted to destroy gender roles, but we destroyed men instead. And now we are the ones complaining.
In this same book, Bill Hybels described godly fatherhood as “Divine Elasticity.” It is a delicate balance between two extremes: Strong, yet Sensitive… Tough, yet Tender… Leader, yet Submitted to the needs of his family… Independent, yet Dependent on God.

III. Make a Living or Make a Life? (v. 2)
The second choice for every parent is found in verse 2. This is another example of attempting life by human effort verses living by the Presence of God. I would summarize this choice with the quote: If you don’t choose your own priorities and determine how much time you will spend on them, someone else will decide for you.
Many of our parents and fathers have allowed their careers to set their priorities rather than determining for themselves how they will spend their time. The result is long hours at work and few hours at home with family…A really good living, but not a very good life. As the Psalmist says, “In vain you rise early and stay up late toiling for food to eat…”
The Hebrew word we translate “vain” is related to the word used in the book of Ecclesiastes, “vanity.” It carries the understanding of “Meaningless.” Why does the Psalmist say that it is “meaningless” to work long hours? Long hours at work are an indication that we are not depending on God. We are depending on our own efforts to provide for our family.
The translation of the NIV does not make much sense to me. It sounds something like, “Don’t get up early and don’t go to bed late, because God provides sleep.” I think the NASB captures a better meaning. The NASB is the most literal translation of the Hebrew and Greek of the Bible. It says, “It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; He gives to His beloved (even in his) sleep.”
The image is of a person’s wealth accumulating even while that person is asleep. The modern mind might be tempted to think in terms of compounding interest or of an investment in the stock market. But the ancient mind would have thought in terms of agriculture. In agriculture the farmer has a responsibility to prepare the land, plant the crops and reap the harvest. But God grows the crops while the farmer sleeps. The farmer’s work would be in vain if God did not send the rain and sun to grow the crops.
We could learn a lot about work from the ancient farmer. Take care of your responsibilities, and trust God for everything else! If all you do is work early and work late and miss out on your family, then you are eating the bread of painful labor. Long hours at work might bring great financial wealth…It might lead to a great living…But if you are not spending time with your wife and children, you are not doing anything of lasting and eternal significance. It is possible to have a great living and a horrible life.
Remember what Steven R. Covey stated in his book First Things First: No one says on his death bed, “I wish I had spent more time at work.”

IV. Burdened or Blessed by Children? (vv. 3 – 5)
The final choice for parents is related to how we view our children. The Psalmist’s words again direct attention away from human efforts and focus on what God has done. In this case, children come to us as a gift from God, not as a result of human effort. Parents do not have control over the conception of children. That is God’s work. Mothers have no control over how a child develops in the womb. That is God’s work.
Now, let’s stop right here and examine something that the Psalmist does NOT say. Many married couples do not have children. The Bible does not teach us that married couples who do not have children have been cursed by God. NO. We need simply to say that when children enter into the lives of a married couple, those children are a gift from God.
But there are too many people in our world who view their children as a burden or a hindrance to their former way of life. Why do some people view children as a burden instead of a blessing? Because they have placed a value on something that God has not placed a value on. Your finances, you job and your lifestyle are NOT more valuable than your children.
Do you believe that your children are a blessing from God? What have you done lately to communicate to your children that they are a blessing? Being a godly father or mother is more than simply giving birth to a child. Godly parents give life to their children every day…Physical life, emotional life and spiritual life…


V. Conclusion
When we invest in our children by giving them life, we help them to grow into the image and likeness of God himself.